I'm sure you're right that he doesn't realize it was you. The Feliway should really help a lot, but don't force him to be in the bedroom - he should get over this pretty soon. Is it possible for you guys to sleep in the bedroom with the door open instead of closed for awhile? maybe just opened up enough so he can slip in and out at will? It sounds like he wants to be with you, but wants to know he can flee the room if necessary too. An escape route is terribly important to cats. He hasn't needed one before, but now he feels he does.

You might do something once or twice in addition to the Feliway to get him to like the bedroom again, faster. For example, in the daytime or early evening (not bedtime) you might play in the bedroomwith a toy with him, or a feather wand that will have him running around into the "scary" area without realizing it (even older cats seem to respond great to these), or even sprinkle a bit of catnip on another part of the bed quite near the scary part (but not actually on the scary part). If he likes and reacts well to catnip. When he accidentally moves to the scary part of the bed, do try to keep your mind a blank and not have an emotional reaction to this, just remain neutral emotionally -- they totally pick up on our anxiety. Whenever I'm trying to behave this way, I repeat to myself " my mind is a blank, my mind is a blank, my mind is a bright blue blank" - it works incredibly well.

He's had so much stress (surgery and aging are tough!) that the more relaxed you are about this, the more relaxed he'll be.

I have accidentally flung kitties out of bed, tripped over them, sat on them, stepped on them, etc. so many times - it's inevitable and it makes me feel awful. Knowing this will happen I start from the time I first get a cat with profuse apologies from the very first time I accidentally bonk them - I'll just keep saying oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, that was an accident and follow them around just feeling my regret very strongly and reaching out to them, and I'll keep it up until they let me pet them and apologize again. So now my cats all understand the words sorry and accident and if I immediately say them after an incident they don't freak out any more. Hard to be little around us big clunky humans with our eyes so far up in the sky, lol!