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Help with needy cat

topic posted Tue, February 21, 2006 - 8:04 PM by  Unsubscribed
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I am so frustrated with my cat, Bam. He is soooo needy. Him and his brother are indoor only so they spend the days hanging out and when I get home Bam starts in with the meowing. He has to follow me everywhere, from room to room. He'll poke his nose in if I'm in the bathroom, he meows outside the door while I shower, he's on the counter when I start cooking, he's sitting next to me on his cat tree staring me down when I'm on the computer, he's got to see what I'm eating and steal a bite if he can, at night he follows me to bed and flops over me, purring and rubbing and trying to get some attention. Then he'll go out in the living room and start meowing at the top of his lungs. He'll do that 2-3 times during the night (that I know of, maybe I sleep through a few bouts), then as soon as my alarm goes off he jumps on the bed and starts purring, meowing and rubbing to get attention.

The thing that really is anoying though is the weekends. I get up M-F at 5 a.m. so on the weekends he starts in at around 5:30 and won't let up. I've tried getting up and feeding him and going back to bed - he just continues to meow until I'm fully up. I've tried closing the door to the bedroom but he just scratches at it and meows incensently. I just want to sleep til 7 or 8 some Saturday, but short of kicking him outside (which would not be a good idea in my neighborhood) I don't know what I can do with this cat.

It's so sad too because he looks and sounds so pitiful, like "Mom, just love me!!!!!" I've just never had such a dependent cat before.
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  • Unsu...
     
    maybe u should do it back to him my cat use to be like that then i began to bug him u know when he's sleeping or i would give him attention when he wanted to be alone now he only bugs me when i guess he feels like he wants to be loved most the time he keeps to himself maybe its cause he's gotten older. hes going to be 2.....how old is ur cat..
    • Unsu...
       
      He's two years old and it seems to have increased over the last year.
      • You know, cats can developissues too. Has there been any sort of changes going on in your house hold lately? Cats, like people react differently. Perhaps your cat has chosen the needy way. However, i think cats, also like people, can have problems with anxiety and insecurities that seem to crop without any apparent reasons why.

        I suggest talking to a vet or animan behaviorist. Perhaps some of that feliway ? or the rescue remedy?


        Honestly, that kind of extreme neediness would drive me crazy.
        • Unsu...
           
          He's always been more needy of attention than my other cat and I don't know his history before I got him at 8 weeks, but I don't think he was treated too well when he was little. He is extremely head shy and won't let hardly anyone else pet him (he isn't mean, he just cringes and shies away). I think he is just truly dependant on me. I feel for him and I try to give him attention, new toys, plenty of food, paly time, etc. but this screaming in the morning has to stop.

          What is Rescue Remedy? What does it do?
          • Shasdow does this same sort of thing but oddly enough , only when i'm playing videogames or trying to get dressed for work.

            after she's given me the whole "welcome home" flop and scratch on the couch, she'll go to he bed If i'm just sitting there watching TV or reading and she will amuse herself or otherwise ignore me unless i go out of my way to grab a toy and play with her, but as soon as i pick up a controller or turn my console on, she comes up, does her best tragic, whispery "meeew" and immediately asserts her need for attention by pacing back and forth across my lap and headbutting me in the face doubly so if she's just caught me playing any game where i find myself in the middle of an intense moment

            of course for my babies, i cave in almost right away and so i pause, pick her up and give her a petting until she decides she's over it

            when i'm trying ot get dressed for work, though, since i'm usually in a bit of a rush, i try to work in a little petting between items of clothing because otherwise i'd feel guilty, especially with the way she sits up and begs for me to pet her
    • My cat is so needy lately. I don't know what to do. Recently he had major mouth surgery removed 12 teeth. Before surgery he was independent; would bother me at times in AM but nothing like now. He sleeps right after he eats and pretty much all day long. I try to keep him up at night so he doesn't bother us at night. He starts at 4-430am lately; crying, jumping on everything and not stopping till I am up and in same room with him. And that doesn't mean the bedroom. I hqave to be physically up. Maybe it's because I recently lost my job and am home all time now. I try to leave house or leave him alone, but even when I am at home and in middle of night hes more vocal. Can anyone help....
      • Penny, your kitty went through some traumatic stuff recently and is looking to you for love and support.
        He is adjusting to most likely different food and lifestyle. And of course, since you are home more now, he will be on you, he loves you and wants to be with you and maybe wants to eat more.
        What are you feeding him now?
        How old is he?
        My cats are always following me around in the house and if I am in the backyard, so are they.
        I'm used to it, some cats are like that, some aren't however I have noticed the 17 year old really sticking to me more lately too.
  • Our Tango is very needy, but only sometimes. I cannot explain what triggers the neediness though. When he goes through a needy phase, he is all over my husband. He won't let him out of his sight. He would cry non-stop until he gets the attention. My husband has to pick him up and hold him tight, like a baby, usually in a sort of a bottle-feeding position. Tango then wraps himself around his arm or digs himself into his lap and if my husband tries to move, he protests vehemently. He suffers if you don't give him your full, undivided attention. Then he calms down and walks off... as if nothing happened.
  • Um, your cat is just being a cat, Susan. Does he have any Abysinian or Siamese in him? Those breeds are the most talkative of cats supposedly. Your cat is very sociable and wants you to like him. Talk to him. When you get annoyed, tell him, Stop!, in a loud, authoritative voice. Say No and mean it. Pick him up and put him on the floor and tell him, Later, not now.

    My cats cry for a reason. With Tommy and Nana early in the a.m. it's because they're hungry. Later in the morning it's because Tommy's bored and wants to go outside, lie in the sun and beat up a cat, Now! Nana cries because her anal glands have left her feeling dirty. Her "Mommy, please clean me now!" routine includes brushing against me to get my attention and then her jumping upon a cushioned bench or chair to let me clean her with a warm moist paper towel. At night they both cry if I'm not in bed already. And I'm talking 9 p.m. When did they become early sleepers?

    If all else fails, you could always try picking up your cat and talking to him for a few minutes. Or put him around your neck and carry him that way. Or stoop down, to make your back flat, and put him on your back for about 15 seconds. Cats love that kind of playful attention. Or grab a cat toy and play with him for a minute or two. Some cats have abandonment fears and require lots of assurances until they feel secure. Also, since it's been really cold lately, my cats seem to be crying much more. At least they know that they can come under the covers with me to stay warm and feel loved.
    • Unsu...
       
      im a new the siamese breed the female cat that i have is awfully attached to me and u understand her need to be with me u see she was adopted very young by a neigbor of mine and she was kept outside most her life at first she would not come near me then gradually began to trust me. she i think she is about to turn a year old and she had to sets of kittens already and all of her kittens died i dont know what they had but as soon as she was ready i had her spayed and vaccinated and now shes mine she has always been my cat since i first layed eyes on her.......u see just like any kitten is attached to mama ur mama so ur kitten or full grown cat will be attached and needy.....its like having a kid i guess i wouldnt know i have no kids but if they were as demanding as these cats of mine i can do without for right now.....
  • It sounds like to me, he is becoming closer to you. Your relationship is deepening. It is his way of saying I love you and I appreciate your company. Our animals have quite a connection with us. They are always trying to get to know us better. My cat is a lot like Bam. Some days he will be my little shadow AAALLLLLL day, and others, he will go off quietly to snooze. Indoor cats also feel comfortable in the "pack" mentality - they have no other place to go! The house is their world. If his nagging gets to be too much, try a fun change in the house. A new toy? A new furniture arrangment? Sometimes with my boy, that's all it takes to add a little excitment into his world again!
    - A new perspective.

    Blessings :)
  • I have a somewhat similar situation with my cat Pippi. I went through a major surgery, and spent most of my recovery time outside reading. He developed a stress induced urinary tract disorder. He's on a drug called amyltryptaline that I rub on his ears. I noticed that, even though I was medicating him, he was still frantic. I then advantaged all of the cats, and he seems better.
    Our nervous cats are st off by change, food and definitely fleas, even if you can't see them.
    good luck! xoxo Deena
    • I say enjoy it while you can, he just wants to be around you and love you. My Fred used to do this kind of thing to me all the time and I just had to have him put to sleep on Friday and I would give anything to have that "annoying" talking, walking on and over me, being in my face and just plain loving me again once more.
      • Unsu...
         
        Thanks Cow Pattie for putting it back into perspective for me. He's really such a love and I am glad I am his kitty mama. I guess I needed to be reminded of how lucky I am to have him because he's great in every other way, and yes, years from now I will be missing his plaintive wails :)
        • You are welcome. I used to get annoyed sometimes when Fred would insist on sitting on me while trying to read or putting away laundry and when he would yell at me for no apparant reason, or when he would walk in front of me on the computer and his many other little quirky habits he had, but what I would give to have him do these things to me just one more time and now he is gone and here I am writing this with tears running down my face. It's only been since Friday and I miss him so much already and it is killing me inside even though I know I made the best decision for him.

          Him and his brother Barney were a legacy and they both took a part of me with them. My cat Bam Bam just came in to say hello to me, so I think I am going to hold him, hug him and cry for Fred and Barney. My cats become such a part of me and when I lose them I not only lose a pet, but also a friend, a child and the joy they brought me when they were alive and full of life.
      • Unsu...
         
        so sorry, cowpattie. it hurts, doesn't it, to lose our little furkids. i told someone else on another thread the same thing about their "annoying" kitty. you'll miss it when it's gone, all that attention. one of my kitties was taken to kitty heaven on thursday. i regret anytime that i thought she was a pain in the ass and miss her and her antics. she was the bedroom kitty. woke me up early in the a.m. slept on my side so i couldn't move at night. chased "mouses" (socks) at about 9 p.m. every night. i miss those things.
  • My boys do this when they're bored. Maybe Bam needs a buddy! :)

    (Myself, however, I *LOVE* the kitty lovins.)
    • Me too, there is nothing like good kitty lovins' to brighten your day.
      • I think it's all in their individual personality. I have seven cats and here's how they stack up:
        Gizzy (14yrs old) has always been the most vocal cat I've ever had...he never shuts up, always wants love, all the time, and he gets mad at me when I am paying attention to the other cats.
        Little Dude (6) never says too much, and he comes around for love only when HE wants it.
        Stache (5) is pretty mouthy too and he is a pain in the ass when it comes to what he wants...esp. in the middle of the night...he will knock my glasses off the nightstand and then lay down there on everything else making a bunch of noise so I have no choice but to pay attention to him.
        Dudley (3) never says a word, unless he gets ticked off at something, and then he lets loose. He is not affectionate to me at all...just his dad.
        Newbie (almost 2) hardly talks either , although he is more of an attention-getter than the others.
        SweetPea only runs his mouth when he needs something.
        Chicky is the baby and she is a brat...all she ever does is complain!
  • Hi Susan...you may think that I am a crank case by the end of my reply...here goes...I had a pair of cats...Jack and Katie (brother and sister) and they were the most people oriented cats I'd ever come in contact with...Jack wasn't happy unless he was touching me in some way soo...I spent a lot of time with Jack on my sholdier which wasn't always easy as he weighed 18 pounds...in the middle of the night he would sit in the middle of the living room floor and howl until...I got up and picked him up and brought him to my bed...he just wanted the attention...he didn't eat people food but was very indignent if you didn't offer him something from your plate and would sit with his back to you until he got over it...Katie on the other hand never saw food of any kind that she didn't like and was crazy for cheetos and icecream and peanut butter! Anyway, to make a long story short, a friend of mine who has raised more cats than you can shake a stick at told me to talk to them and tell them when there was a problem with their behavior and then give them attention/affection at regular times of the day...well...it worked!!!...after a very short time they changed the behavior and all was right with the world...I had to change my behavior too...but it was well worth it! Now that they are gone and I have two rather indifferent cats...I miss them more than I can say...Joe
    • Unsu...
       
      Your post got me thinking. During the week the attention I give to Bam is pretty regular - we share breakfast, he follows me around while I scoop the catbox and do my makeup, he helps me make the bed, I fill his dry food bowl and then I'm off to work. When I come home it's also pretty regular - we greet and have some time on the bed while I talk to him and pet him, then he does his own thing for the rest of the evening until bed time when we have a chat and a pet and go to sleep.

      On weekends that schedule is thrown out the window and the attention is given whenever so maybe that's what's throwing him off.

      Hmmm, maybe it's me who needs to change :)
      • Unsu...
         
        they are definitely creatures of habit!
        • My boy Nikko is pretty needy. he walks around the house crying. He follows me from room to room. Usually I'm okay with it because I'm just happy he loves me but in the morning, when I'm busy, I can't deal. So when I need my space or if I'm in a hurry, I take a few seconds to pick him and smother him with hugs and kises...I bury my face in his belly and then I probe his legs and tail for cat bites....oh how he loves that part. He then jumps out of my arms and runs outside. heh, I've never had a cat that cries all the time so my first reaction is check him for problems. If I lift his tail and look at his butt one more time, he might disown me.

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