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Yesterday I had to put my beloved cat Charlotte to sleep. She has been my constant companion who made me smile when I was sad or lonely. She woke me up every morning and purred me to sleep every nite. Why is it when you lose a pet it is like losing a child. Your heart is ripped out and handed back to you with a statement like " It's only a cat. It's not a person." If that's true, why does it hurt so much? She had a personality just like a person, and when she spoke to me it was just like a person. Tapping me on the elbow..."hey it's time for bed....get off the computer" or " hey it's morning...turn off the alarm and feed me" or before the key is even put in the door "hey it's about time you got home...I love you and missed you...give me some lovin'..." RIP my sweet Charlotte... >^.^<
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Maryland
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 8:00 AMI actually consider loosing a cat to be loosing a child. I lost my Zen in June, and I am tearing-up just thinking about him right now! Don't listen to people who say they are *just* cats. You know what you feel and don't let anybody try to discount your feelings, they are real.
I am sorry you lost your Baby. I hope another comes into your life when you are ready, cause They always do!
Peace
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 8:49 AMI'm sorry for your loss. Time will blunt the pain, but you can keep the memories alive by thinking of her often. It sounds like she was a wonderful kitty.
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 9:34 AM::tearing up from reading that::
I lost two cats last year and thought I would never smile again. The pain is indescribable, especially when it us that must make the choice for our beloved pets. Many people just don't understand. But we that have a special bond with our pets know.
Time will ease the pain. And I'll bet another little kitten is out there, waiting to meet you someday, when you're ready. That's what happened to me...Shashkin came into my life when I least expected him. And, in a way, he brought me back to life.
I am very sorry for your loss. Know that Charlotte will always be with you in your heart and is in a happy place waiting to see you again. She'll say again someday, "hey it's about time you got home...I love you and missed you...give me some lovin'"...
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 9:55 AMAlso tearing up reading all of these. SO sorry to hear of your loss.
Our feline friends are very special little souls. I was distraught loosing
my first one (12 years together) about 18months ago. She took the
decision out of my hands and went suddenly on the day when I
knew she was ready and had booked a home visit. It hurts because
sometimes they can sneak into our hearts like no person can.
Grieve for her all you need, ignore anyone who belittles your loss,
and treasure those happy memories. Talk about her to those who
know how deep the pain is. Talk TOO her, if that's part of your
belief system. Take all the time you need
and don't forget to pamper yourself. When the time's right I'm sure
another little one will find their way to you, but I know that's no
consolation right now.
I still 'talk' to my loved one (she's visited me in dreams) and I have two
wonderful and totally different feline friends with me now. I fostered them
in her memory, not expecting to be ready to commit again. But one
of them 'had me on hello' and I soon warmed to her feral mum.
I constantly wonder at how they have each found their way into my heart,
which I didn't think 18 months ago would ever feel that special bond again.
Call me mad if you wish, but I'm sure my little one in spirit had
a hand in choosing my next companions!
My two aren't cuddle monsters (yet...) but they're gonna HAVe to
put up with a hug right now!
Sending thoughts and blessings to you, to Charlotte and all those
grieving furry friends.
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 11:26 AMI am so sorry to hear this, I too, along with the rest on here, have lost such special babies to me too and yes, it does hurt the same as a child, each time I lose one, a good chunk of me goes with them, but my "gone on till we meet again" babies are still with me each and every single day, they never truly could possibly leave me!
I agree also, do not ever let some jackass that says "it's just a cat" get to you, I tell them they really will never know the true satifaction of life without ever having a TRUE animal/person bond, then I tell them pretty much to fuck off and then let it go, there are enough of us that do understand the pain, sadness, loss and heartbreak that comes with losing a beloved pet, so when you get down and sad, lean on your friends/family that do understand and if you have another fur-baby either your own or someone elses, go cuddle, love and cry while hugging them, as much as it still hurts, it always makes me feel better to love on an animal to help me get thru my grieving.
I also write little stories or memoirs about my dearly beloved lost ones too and that helps me, even tho' I cry while doing it, but I also smile and laugh and feel loved remembering and thinking about all the time we were lucky to have each other.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) -
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 3:38 PMIt's true, many people just don't get it...that losing a cat is not something that can be weighed, relative to losing a human friend or family member. I still remember September 19, 1978, walking out the front door to catch the school bus (I was ten), and finding Frisky curled up motionless at the front door. My mother let me stay home from school that day. The next day when I got to school, the kids asked where I'd been the day before...was I sick or something? When I told them that my kitty had died, none of them could understand why I had stayed home! They thought it was just stupid that I was too sad to just get on the bus anyway. I think it was the first time I realized that not everyone had the same sensitivity to animals that I did. I didn't let it change me, except that I was more resolute to keep those sensitivities. So just try to ignore people if they don't get it. Take care of yourself and don't let your annoyance with those people taint your grieving process. They don't get to have a say about it.
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 4:13 PMOh hon I'm sorry to hear this.
She sounds like she had a great life.
Time will lessen your pain.
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 7:12 PMMy heart goes to you...losing a furry child is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 7:28 PMThank you all for your wonderful words of comfort and memories about your furry loved ones. Hugs to all of you...>^.^<
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Fri, January 30, 2009 - 8:10 PMThere are some of us for whom a bond with a beloved pet is closer and deeper than we could ever have with a human child. We choose them, or allow ourselves to be chosen by them, we take them into our homes and our hearts, we make a family commitment to them--an awesome responsibility, because they depend on us for everything they have, and they give us so much love and companionship. For all those reasons, they aren't "just" anything, they're special, and it would be unnatural and ungracious not to grieve their loss as would a parent mourn the loss of a child. And anyone who would belittle the loss, has not felt the loss of anyone, or, having felt it, thickened their own skin before they could finish processing it. Those people are as uncomfortable with your loss as they are their own, because it reminds them of their own vulnerability, and they resort to rationalizations and belittlement in order to distance themselves from it.
Condolences to you in this sad time! I am sure Charlotte was a lovely and dear kitty. I've had kitties since 1979 and I've had to say goodbye to five--it's never "just a cat."
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Sat, January 31, 2009 - 8:00 PMI'm so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself. It does hurt. One of the things that makes it harder when we lose a pet, is that there is not a lot of understanding and support in society for grieving for pets. If you were crying in public, and someone asked you why, they might be all too likely to respond, "Geez, it's been months, why don't you get a new cat and get over it." But if it were a human family member who had died, even a stranger would say, "That's so hard, of course you are not over it yet. Cry all you want, just let it out." So we tend to hide our pain in public, and even around friends and family.
Here is a website that I found very helpful: www.petloss.com - they have the Rainbow Bridge story, and other inspirational readings there. They also have support forums and chat. In chat they do the "Monday Night Candle Ceremony" which is a beautiful memorial service, that might do you a world of good to participate in. Even if you can't make it to the chat room when they are holding it, the text of it is online so that you can read through it and light the candles by yourself if you choose to. They also have a list of books and articles that might help you, as well. -
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Sun, February 1, 2009 - 6:40 AMI;d jsut like to add my voice to the people who have offered teir condolences. companion animals are special to us because they may make demands but they ar never 'ego" demands...critters are jsut really accepting of who we are without judgment. it's so hard to lose one!
I found the people at petloss.com really supportive and sweet.don;t be afraid to get another cat . everyone is different and needs different amounts of time to grieve, but there is always another animal who will thrive on our lvoe and for me, this IS the way to healing. -
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Mon, February 2, 2009 - 4:22 PMsorry I didn't see this until today - I hope you've taken all these posts to heart because they're all so very true. You're not alone in understanding that your cat was a real being in her own right and that the love between you and her was (is, IMO) also real and just as good as any other love--even better, often, because we accept them as they are and they accept us as we are and there's no painful drama or uncertainty. I've been through this decision and this loss seven times now and am better at it than before, when it used to cause me the most awful and prolonged suffering. The things that help the most are: to dwell on the love you felt and feel for her and feel gratitude for knowing her and getting to live with her, and....to love another cat. Each cat you know and love will be a completely unique relationship. They don't replace the earlier one in your heart, they just make your heart bigger, and they give the love that you still feel somewhere to go. This is so important. Love wants, needs, to be expressed--and actually, this is one reason why pets are so important to us. Often people simply don't have another human available to receive love from them--this has often been true for me and without my cats I don't know how I could have managed. Hugs to you and I personally thank you for loving your cat the way you do, the world needs this so much. -
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Re: good nite sweet sweet charlotte
Wed, February 4, 2009 - 5:40 AMVery well said, Lumiere!
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